“Not My Will, But Thine”

The week started out well. I was on top of work, I was getting a lot done, and everything was running smoothly. The week before had been difficult productivity-wise, and I was thankful that things had started looking up.

Then my laptop crashed. It still worked occasionally, but I was scared to use it too much for fear that I would crash permanently and I wouldn’t be able to recover my files. I asked my brother to start looking for a decently-priced laptop and went on with my life, minus a working laptop.

Towards the end of the week, I brought my younger sisters to choir practice and then came home to get some work done before I had to go pick them up. An hour later, I cranked up my car and went to back up… and my steering wheel didn’t want to turn. I thought it might just be a glitch and pulled out the driveway. I had only gone a few feet down the road when I knew that something was messed up. Turns out either the steering pump or something else had gone out, and it’ll be an expensive fix.

Another brother was sweet enough to bring me to town to drop off an application for a new job. I was told that they weren’t hiring at the moment, but they would keep my application for a few months and to call back within a week to check on things. I had ventured outside of my comfort zone in applying for this job and thought that it was something that God was leading me to do.

I had been very productive with personal work that week, but everything else seemed to be falling apart. Bills were coming up, I needed to buy a laptop, my car was broken, I didn’t get the job I had been hoping for, and I didn’t know how I was going to pay for all of that.

Back up to the beginning of the week, before all of this happened. One night when I was doing dishes, I decided to prop up my phone on the windowsill, open my Bible app, and memorize a verse. I picked Proverbs 16:9, one of my favorites that I mostly knew and wanted to cement in my heart.


“A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.”


Ha. Little did I know how much the Lord would bring that verse to my mind throughout the week! My trust was stretched and it wasn’t very fun.

But now, looking back, I can see how the Lord was leading and how He provided.

I was able to purchase a laptop within my budget.

I have my online transcription job that I can do in order to earn money to pay my bills and other expenses that are coming up.

Two job opportunities that I thought I was 99% sure of fell through the beginning of the following week. But I’ll be able to be much more focused on the work I need to do at home. And stepping out of my comfort zone, even for just a little bit, grew my faith and trust in Christ.

My car is still unusable, but I have parents and siblings who are willing to bring me to the few places I need to be. And I am so, so very thankful that it broke down in our yard and not when I was on the road!

Life isn’t all pretty. Sometimes we have a lot of hard things pile up at once. But if we remember to follow Jesus’ example and pray, “not my will, but Thine be done” (Luke 22:42), then we can trust Him to lead us in His perfect will.

Sometimes it doesn’t make sense to us. Sometimes we don’t see what good could come out of it. But God has promised to lead us. He has promised to provide for us. All we have to do is yield to His leading and trust His timing.

I still have to keep reminding myself that He will work all things out for my good (Romans 8:28). And I know that I can cling to His promises in Jeremiah 29, and I hope that you can, too.


“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and findΒ me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:11-13)


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